Getting to Know You

When I first met Sirenic, I thought maybe I was done with Webley and Anita (short for Hey Anita). Those relationships promised to treat me like just another user, while Sirenic seemed able to fulfill all my needs.

Dramatic, yes — but can you blame me for having a personal connection to these so-called information management services?

U.K.-based Sirenic is trying to pick up where Webley and Hey Anita leave off in reading e-mail for mobile users, offering localized news, sports and weather reports. Sirenic “learns” my habits and modifies the order and importance of messages with each successive use. The server-based software then notifies my handset of breaking news and messages based on user-set preferences.

Sirenic's strategy is to sell the service to both enterprise customers and mass consumers via wireless carriers. According to Sirenic CEO Craig Vachon, the company has shown in three pilot tests with carriers (one in the U.S.) that it increases average revenue per user 12% and reduces churn by 1%.

While Sirenic is promising, the details aren't pretty. I tested the service using VoiceStream and a basic Motorola T193 phone. VoiceStream uses GSM; Sirenic is U.K.-based. The two should fit together like bangers and mash. But after a full month of use, it was more like skirt steak masquerading as filet mignon. While the service works as advertised, it has some basic problems that can drive a user to his nearest pub for a pint.

Take the sign-up process. In fact, take it far, far away and bury it somewhere where I never have to see it again. Under normal circumstances, carriers (or Sirenic) would work with an IT department, allowing users to integrate their corporate POP3 or IMAP e-mail with the Sirenic service to do convenient things like flag messages from your boss for immediate notification. I had to set up an inbox with a “@sirenicdemo.com” domain name. No problem, except that the Sirenic service doesn't actually do the notification. Instead, it forwards the e-mail to another inbox maintained by the wireless carrier, which then sends an SMS to me. Why am I using this service again?

In the spirit of torturing myself more and after a few more false starts of my own making, I set up the demo and convinced several people to e-mail test messages. Like a car stalling on the train tracks while a freight is bearing down on you, the system had an untimely breakdown, which a friendly media handler assured me doesn't happen often.

I was further derailed by Sirenic maintaining two servers (one in the U.K., where the original sign-up was handled, and one in the U.S., where the service was later ported). These servers don't talk to each other.

The real fun comes with the text-to-speech. While it's not overly difficult to comprehend the words, the pronunciation would make President Bush blush. SBC Communications, one of the stocks I tracked during my trial period, closed on May 16 up $1.79, ending at $43.99. Sirenic's voice, however, told me that “Es Beessa Comms closed up one point seven nine dollars at four three point nine nine dollars.”

The three other RBOCs would also be interested to learn that their names are now “Quest Comes International,” “BellSouth Cee Oh,” and “Vera Zun.”

Despite Sirenic's drive to do more than Webley and Hey Anita, for now, it just makes me want to say “bye-bye” — and I don't mean, as it might be put in Sirenic-ese, “buy-buy.”