Trees? Puh-leeze

Water flushes down the drain counter-clockwise in Australia, so who knows what other crazy scientific phenomena are at work down there. But a recent theory floated by Telstra, the nation's largest service provider, seems as shaky as Paul Hogan's movie career. Responding to complaints about poor mobile phone service in rural areas, Telstra is blaming the preponderance of eucalyptus trees in the Australian bush, claiming that their thick trunks and large, fleshy leaves absorb wireless signals like a sponge. Trees? That's the best Telstra can come up with? C'mon — that's like saying the koala ate your homework. If you want to shift blame, do what American companies do: Say it's Arthur Andersen's fault. Leave the leaves out of it.