Provocative Persistence

The Persistence Pays Policy is the latest rage in customer care. Employ it, and you'll no longer be looking at a 30% churn rate. You certainly don't want to miss the boat — especially because you have all of that overcapacity to justify.

When women still wore pantyhose, I subscribed to a service that sent me two pairs every two weeks. It was convenient until the office adopted business casual. Not only did I need a virtual act of Congress to discontinue the service, I also had to justify my decision with two layers of “supervisors” hell-bent on keeping me as a customer. I no longer receive the pantyhose, but every week I get another flurry of mailings from the company trying to suck me back in.

As part of Wireless Review's efforts to keep readers informed about developing trends, we offer the following list of steps you can employ to join the persistent customer care movement.

• Make sure your customer service number has at least 10 interactive voice response levels that don't apply to customer needs. Make sure the prompter reads through them rapid-fire the first time. “Press 11 if you would like to hear this list again.”

• When a customer calls with a question or complaint, be sure to listen halfheartedly. At the first pause, deny your ability to handle that request and send the customer back to the automated system.

• If a customer wants to change a phone or service plan, make a big deal about the contract. You have to drive home that contract concept. If the contract isn't up, make them pay a penalty to stay with your service AND get a new phone.

• If a customer actually does reach a human, grill the customer mercilessly about leaving. “Do you realize this is cheaper than your landline? Do you realize once you discontinue this service, the phone still can call 911? You can't say that about wireline.” If your rep is strong-willed enough, the customer will cave.

• Launch call programs to talk your customers into upping their minutes. No, they probably don't need another 3000 minutes, but if you call them enough, they'll give in. Then call them about every new service offering. If they say no, call back a week later and run through the script again. They love this.

The beauty of this strategy is that you instantly achieve brand recognition. Your CSRs are remembered long after the call is completed. Your company name and reputation stay burned into customers' memories. And what a lovely additional benefit to keeping those customers with you at all costs.