What the feng?

If your life sucks as bad as your mobile service, don't blame your wireless provider — your phone shui is out of whack, man. Based on the principles governing feng shui, the 4000-year-old Chinese art of positioning household items to promote harmony across one's personal space, phone shui celebrates better living through cell phones, employing personality tests to determine which handsets, ringtones and even salutations are best aligned with your inner spirit. The brainchild of feng shui expert P.T. Barnum — sorry, Paul Darby — and backed by British wireless retailer Phones4U, phone shui operates on a series of 10 “wisdom tips,” among them the claim: “Your phone is a reflection of your mind.” Accordingly, believers in phone shui should seek out the smallest, simplest phones on the market.