iNstructing the iLliterate

After clamoring for the iPhone like it was the last Zagnut bar at Fat Camp, many users are reporting their trouble understanding how to operate the thing, according to National Public Radio.

Like the iPod, the iPhone doesn't come with instructions. Maybe that's because the makers are confident in the intuitiveness of its controls. Maybe it's because help is available online. But maybe it's also because — let's be honest — nobody really reads instructions anyway.

Apple is now offering classes on how to use the iPhone. Classes! Is that where we're headed? I need an associate's degree to work my cell phone?

Mass-market consumer technology used to be so simple. As technologically sophisticated as television was, it had a power button, a channel dial and a volume knob. But as gadgets grow more elaborate, manufacturers freely push all that complexity into the user's lap. Today I don't even understand all the buttons on my iron. (Think about that: This is supposed to be just a flat hot stone with a handle on it, but when I use it, a light comes on showing a picture of a sheep in a bathtub. What does that even mean?)

I like having lots of cool features, but I don't want a phone that requires me to find a lab partner. I'm not a Luddite; it's just that I have a house full of high-tech gadgets and not a lot of time. How about a quick, optional, interactive demo on the iPhone itself? And make it fun. Instead of an irksome cartoon paper clip as your guide, how about Jessica Alba? In a bathtub?