The twelve months of startups

(To the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Duh.)

In the first month of my startup, my VC gave to me... a bucketload of cash to spend freely.

In the second month of my startup, my CFO gave to me... the OK to go on a hiring spree.

In the third month of my startup, my recruiter gave to me... a fast-talking marketing VP.

In the fourth month of my startup, that VP gave to me... a big trade show booth and free tchotchkes.

In the fifth month of my startup, I gave to my employees... a party with free booze and fancy brie .

In the sixth month of my startup, my CTO gave to me... the heads-up that our platform was buggy.

In the seventh month of my startup, my partners gave to me... the word that they were pissed and gonna flee.

In the eighth month of my startup, my investors gave to me... the ass-chewing of an eternity.

In the ninth month of my startup, my counsel gave to me... a class-action suit from employees.

In the tenth month of my startup, my landlord gave to me... an eviction from my posh new office suite.

In the eleventh month of my startup, I gave to my VC... the news that I would file for bankruptcy.

In the twelfth month of my startup, my board sent me... back to eating Chef Boy-ar-Dee .

Editorial Director Jason Meyers really needs to cool it on the egg nog. Send him holiday wishes at jason_meyers@intertec.com.