The interview

(Upstart) Everyone knows that as the economy tightens, so goes the job market—and opportunities to get in on the ground floor of start-up outfits become fewer and further between. With that in mind, Upstart offers job seekers this list of interview comments and questions we think it might be wise to avoid when pursuing an opening.

The more important question is, why do you want me to have this job?

I hope you have good liability coverage, because I fall down a lot.

Does it stink in here, or is it me?

I won’t need a computer because I stole a bunch of laptops from my last job.

Is there any kind of accelerated vesting program?

I hope there’s no policy against dating co-workers, because that receptionist is hot.

Do most people work the full eight hours?

That’s what you think.

This coffee’s crap. Could you get someone to scoot over to Starbucks?

Convicted? Never.

You wouldn’t be my boss, would you?

You got a little something on your lip there.

Who the hell came up with the name of this company, anyway?

Maybe it’s the booze talking, but I think I’m perfect for the job.

Editorial Director Jason Meyers learned the hard way that the key to a successful job interview is wearing pants. Drop him a line at jason_meyers@intertec.com.