Antiques Roadshow

(Upstart) Transcript of a future video stream of the popular PBS series, in which noted communications industry historian Graham Chisholm, on location in St. Louis, appraises relics from a bygone era.

Chisholm: Welcome to Antiques Roadshow. We’re thrilled to be once again ensconced in so much history here in St. Louis. The last time our entourage rolled through here we took some yokels for an antique Budweiser tin, a toy bear with a very grown-up appraisal estimate, and an extraordinarily large and well-preserved 18th-century silk needlepoint scene. Today we’ll be looking at several items from the late 20th and early 21st century communications industry. First we have Betty Druckerman, who found some papers in the attic of her recently purchased home. Let’s take a look. Betty, what do you have here?

Druckerman: Graham, these papers appear to some kind of old money. I can’t really make out any of the writing because it’s so faded, but it looked like it might be worth something.

Chisholm: Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Betsy.

Druckerman: Betty.

Chisholm: Whatever. These markings here are actually called dollar signs and were used to mark monetary denominations until the Greater Depression, when the U.S. converted its currency system to the Euro. In the middle here is actually the name of a company...let’s see if I can make it out here with the magnifier... something like American Telegraph something-or-other. This is one I’ve not heard of. It’s most likely one of the many landline network companies that existed before Chairman McCaw’s global satellite system took operation over all forms of communications. These are actually stock certificates, and because all stock markets and the concept of public equity were dismantled by 2010, I would estimate the value of these certificates to be about equal to the paper on which they’re printed.

Druckerman: I see. Thank you.

Chisholm: Let’s move on. Next we have Patricia Nettles. This looks interesting, Patricia. Where did you get it?

Nettles: Well, we recently demolished the original 20th century headquarters of a company my great grandfather used to run in Northern Virginia to make room for a Super Amazon Outlet Store, and I found this in his office in this disheveled state.

Chisholm: This is a rare find, Patricia. This is actually the company’s former mascot, known as Lightworks Lou. Ordinarily this would be about as worthless as Betsy’s stock certificates, but there are two reasons why Lou is valuable: First, he represents the last company mascot ever to exist in reality rather than virtual reality. Second—and the reason why Lou’s disheveled state actually increases his value—is the fact that he was involved in what can only be described as a “brouhaha” in the late 20th century. Patricia, this is a very valuable item—probably worth more than your great grandfather’s company ever was.

Nettles: That’s fantastic.

Chisholm: That’s about all the time we have for now. Join us next week in San Jose, where we’ll exhume the remains of former dot-com executives to see if they’re wearing any priceless antique jewelry...

Editorial Director Jason Meyers denies any involvement in the attack on Lightworks Lou, maintaining that the Lightworks Toolkit he is currently selling on eBay was a wedding gift. He can be exhumed at jason_meyers@intertec.com.