ZERO SUM GAME

For those of us in our 20s and 30s, many of life's lessons were learned via Saturday morning television's animated “Schoolhouse Rock” edutainment series. But one segment in particular, “My Hero Zero” — with its refrain “Nobody really knows how wonderful you are, Zero” — seems to have struck a chord that's grown increasingly resonant with time. Last week, the Wall Street Journal reported that the hot new trend among mobile phone users is zeros — specifically, phone numbers ending in at least two or three of them, preferably more. Zeroes have become a status symbol among the cultural elite, with one Santa Monica custom-car dealer ponying up $5000 cash to swap digits with the owner of a number containing a whopping five zeros. Independent wireless sales agents are now hoarding numbers like gold, but for wireless carriers, the zeros come only after the decimal point: Most service providers charge a measly $25 for a “00,” assuming there's one available. In November, new federal rules go into effect granting carriers numbers in blocks of 1000 instead of 10,000, making each provider's pool of zero numbers that much more limited. An AT&T Wireless spokesman calls the zero numbers “a limited marketing opportunity,” but come on — with all the publicity, now everybody's going to want one. There's no doubt limited financial gain to be had here, but at this point, it's in the best interests of the entire wireless industry to exploit anything that generates even a spark of consumer enthusiasm — meaning carriers would be wise to make much ado about nothing.