MERGER, SHE WROTE

It's the oldest trick in television: the “will they or won't they?” romance. Characters spend years flirting and playing coy, keeping audiences guessing and sending Nielsen ratings through the roof. Although the wireless industry has of late offered investors as much to smile about as an episode of “Baby Bob,” Wall Street hearts fluttered briefly last week amid rumors that AT&T Wireless and Cingular were finally wrapping up a long-rumored merger. The deal didn't happen, but the possibility boosted ratings, and not only did AT&T Wireless and Cingular stocks get a bump, but the ripple effect briefly sparked Nextel and Sprint PCS shares as well. The two carriers' ongoing mating dance seems likely to offer one of the season's most compelling entertainment spectacles, which is why AT&T Wireless and Cingular should take their cues from primetime and keep this storyline going. Let the drama build, and the stock values will continue to climb. Another classic plot device worth considering is the romantic triangle, with another suitor like Deutsche Telekom or Alltel. People just won't be able to get enough. But a word of warning: On TV, after those burning desires finally are consummated, viewers always tune out in droves. When they finally do get together, AT&T Wireless and Cingular better have a pretty impressive second act in mind. And a Tony Danza guest shot is not an option.