E-gang bang

Major magazine publishers identify the leaders of the e-era so you don't have to. This must be a load off your mind, with memories of JFK Jr., Hillary Rodham Clinton's psychoanalysis column in talk magazine and the fate of D.B. Cooper (still missing!) weighing heavily on the synapses in your brain.

There must be further relief in knowing that so many magazines and other would-be experts are busy chronicling the life stories, business exploits and futurist philosophies of such a countless number of leaders for the e-era. And, you must know in your heart that the extensive listing, profiling and celebrating of these personalities is far from over.

Forget how banal it sounds, and just demand it: I want my list of the top 20 e-executives of the 20th century, and I want it now! Forget that through most of this century, there was no such thing as an e-executive. How can I go on without that list? How will I know what companies to buy stock in? How will I know whose butt to kiss to get my next job? How will I know how to make decisions? How will I know what to say to my colleagues and subordinates? How will I know what kind of designer glasses to wear?

Yes, the celebration of celebrity, even in the scope of individual industries, is out of hand.

This observation doesn't come from watching a lot of television analysis about why we feel so close to John-John - even though we didn't really know him. It's not even an original observation (That's a lot to ask, isn't it?).

It's our fault, of course - readers, writers, editors, investors, analysts and members of the industry work force. We want to believe someone's really got it right. We want to be inspired and motivated by role models. We want proof - in print or in HTML - that some of the things we wonder about aren't just the ramblings of crazy kooks like us. We want to have a manifesto, even if it's a borrowed one. So, the chroniclers of the e-age oblige by saying, "Here's someone who did it."

Yes, it may be our fault, but it fills our needs. Still, it's starting to get to the point of over-indulgent desperation. In our maddening search to list e-leaders, a little bit too much honor is being heaped on executives and companies that really haven't proved anything yet.

On some level, it seems as if we're picking the key figures in an industrial revolution that still has a primitive ring to it. For instance, how can we toss off anecdotes confirming the success of e-commerce companies when we still are trying to get the kinks out of e-commerce and when most e-commerce companies only seem to dig deeper and deeper losses?

Here are people who did it, but did they?

How can we choose the leaders of the e-generation when so many of them have been in their present jobs for so little time? How can we bestow laurels on these leaders when they seem to be able to successfully manage only one end of their financial statements? Is it just about great ideas, concise quotes and distinctive faces?

We should have learned by now, from witnessing the start of this e-revolution, that success in the midst of it is less discriminatory than in other businesses and periods of great industrial change. After all, some of those well-praised executives are responsible for nothing more than a great idea at the right time. We should have learned that when it comes to e-success, most often we all are along for the wild ride.

That doesn't mean lasting e-success is unattainable, that these leaders are frauds or that their stories are untrue and should not be told. Some thoughts and philosophies deserve to be on display. Some attitudes should be celebrated because they help to change old ways. Some people should be quoted and listened to closely because they influence change and create success in new areas.

We don't have to worry about the veracity of the information or entertainment we obtain from these lists, rankings and profiles. The only thing we should worry about is how desperately we rely on them interms of how and where we invest, how we make our own decisions and how we treat our colleagues and subordinates.

Your mother won't brush your teeth, and the e-gang will not pay your rent.